Praise and the Poop Factor

Some psychologists and authors are backtracking on their earlier directives to praise, praise, praise. They say overpraising creates overinflated egos, not positive self-esteem. It also overly protects children from experiencing conflict and failure. It’s something to think about as another school year begins.

Among those making a U-turn is Florida State University psychology professor Roy Baumeister, who for 30 years attempted to document the value of positive self-esteem, only to experience “one of the biggest disappointments of my career.”
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Above is from The World of Psychology blog by John Grohol: http://psychcentral.com/blog/

Self-esteem's role long has been overrated, says child psychologist David Anderegg, author of the parenting book Worried All the Time (Free Press, $24).

About those directives. I don’t recall any directives from psychologists telling parents to apply praise indiscriminately. Besides, psychologists have no authority to issue directives. I think I have seen such advice from authors. And authors, of course, do have authority to issue directives. Fortunately, parents have the authority to ignore directives.

Most psychologists would point out that praise serves to strengthen the praised behavior. Thus, it would be unwise to praise ineffective behavior.

Because children understand language, however, parents can make effective distinctions about what they are praising. Even though the child does not succeed, a parent might praise the child:
for trying,
for improving,
for a well-done part of the task, or
for bounce-back.

Here are a few related ideas from the Thinkerer.
http://www.thinkerer.org/HeadView/HeadBounce.htm
http://www.thinkerer.org/HeadView/HeadConfidence.htm

The only public part of the success story is the last act.
Failure is not in falling down; it is in staying down.
If failure were fatal, we’d all be dead.
Practice the bounce-back routine. Yes, it does exist. But only for successful people.
You do not build self-confidence out of failing. You build it out of bouncing back.
The difference between a trial run and a failure lies in what you get out of it.
If you always succeed, you are overqualified for your job.
Thomas Edison: I have not failed. I've just found 1,000 ways that won't work.
You did not fail if you learned how to do better next time.
Obstacles are just nature’s way of showing us what we can do.
Challenges are the root stock of confidence.
Football would be a lot easier without the other team.
Self-confidence grows not from what you can do, but what you know you can do